Call it ULAN

ULAN= Rain = outpouring of love and blessings

My KT ka-batch had her own share of fire, Feb 7 (my husbandry’s araw ng kapanganakan), while I had my own share of fires 2x in my lifetime of 50 years. In those times, I hadn’t had the chance to do the dirty work. Can’t count on my memory stick to remember what went on, perhaps it was a bit traumatic. What I can remember though is that in a few days, my apartment was fine….my husband’s reading clinic was fine. I thanked God we were all fine.

So I just moved on with my life as usual as if nothing happened.

My small school life and university life went on as usual.

In between these fires, I had my own struggles and trials in life as usual, without me calling for help from my ka-batches nor anyone. I just had my BFF Rachel Red and 3 counsellor friends. I lived. Don’t we all?

Day 3: And so, witnessing the site of 32 Kalinga jolted me a bit. This was THE 32 Kalinga, our Batch 87 HQ, the memorable sleepover home of my son who was classmates with KT’s daughter & son. There are hardly traces left of the room where we stayed for more than a week Year 1987. The large dining room still looks familiar though, and yes, the chandelier in the living room was still there, the same one which stayed put up there while my ka-bunches and I practiced our dance number of Hip 2BSquare (Huey Lewis). No time to reminisce more as I had to save the precious plates and rows of wine glasses. Best to start early cuz there seems to be lots to do pa.

Day 2 - Discourse analysis of MU’s messages reposted by ALF and QA are telling of urgency and immense work at hand…I can only think of a raising minimum funds among ka-batches as I really don’t know how KT is when it comes to getting ‘financial’ help. I at least felt safe that MU was there for her or that QA was in touch. Glad that ka-batches have been pledging.

Moreso, I really didn’t know whether in fact KT will welcome my presence (borne out of prior miscoms).  I asked myself: Have I even earned my right to be there in the first place? I am aware of her struggles being a co-parent in my school but KT really is the type to decide and handle everything on her own= Supermom, Superdaughter.

And that even made me think about the way we are as women – we seem to be built to  carry a lot, and  no matter how burdensome things can become, we bear it, bear it all, that we sometimes forget that we still  have a need for each other. We bury that need, keep ourselves together cuz there is so much to do.

Day 4: On my way home, I thought of my ka-batches now, especially the quiet, hardly chatty ones…how many times have we chatted away and in those chats are our hidden selves -- someone could have easily been in pain, caring for a loved one in pain...someone in a tough marriage, in depression, healing from a lost love or a miscarriage, grieving a loved one’s death, battling demons, battling cancer or even living in poverty (hayan na, I admit I am in poverty cuz middle class is the new poor in the Philippines…couldn’t afford that Sigma Delta souvenir watch…tipong saan ako bubunot ng 15k nang ganun ganun lang)

And how many times wasn’t I even there for my ka-batches even before the onslaught of social media. These days, our narratives come to us in trickles or hearsay…instagram, tweets, screenshots or even thru FB but not even as purely or as honestly as we want it to be.

Day 3: Bahala na… basta I’ll go. Buti nalang dehins trapik kapag Linggo.

I felt it’s my turn to pay it forward for those times others lent a helping hand to my family, even without me asking for help.

Finally, I see KT… a tight hug, konting teardrops, but KT is KT – her usual self = outpouring of stories and anecdotes that she hardly notices the time. I felt she was glad to see us. 

Alongside the packing it was heartwarming to see outpouring of help and offers in various, special ways since Day 2 when I contacted fellow Knollers.  It also felt like a test to my online classroom/ discourse management skills when chats, texts and calls go on and on in 2 big groups (MCHS + Batch 87) and 3 small groups (a few kabatches, a few students-former classmates of PT plus PMs with other co-parents & former classmates).

These sms-based & online exchanges = genuine concern, outpouring of love, call it Ulan kahit  mag-tatag-init na.

Perhaps it’ll take some time for the outpouring to sink into KT. She must be preoccupied --  the one and only KT ka-batch (yes, reclaiming, MY ka-batch) who takes care of her loving mom, her 3 children, her ancestral home, her La Union, their family business, her marriage for as long as she could. She is really built to manage all these, or perhaps have learned to bear it all on her own… that was obvious based on her helper’s story, the sight of crates, bubble wraps, and boxes with labels lined up by Day 3 morning.  (Day Zero): Not to mention’s KT’s story of waking up around 7am in the morning to the scent of something kinda smelling weird. (Iisa lang ang tawag dun = Super Woman / Wonder Woman/ Bionic woman o di kaya X-(Wo)MEN. Ang superhero ang tagapanguna sa pagbigay ng tulong at pinakahuling hihingi ng tulong. Hayun, diba?!)

Day 6: So, a shout out to Knollers – for keeping calm, serious, focused that by Day 4-5 you were instantly ready to make good use of your energies and resources to be there for a fellow Knoller from wherever in the Philippines or the world you are…

Of course, shout out to all ‘87 ka-batches: It’s been comforting to know we can count on each others’ time and resources, and in varied ways, mula sa pledges, bubble wrapping, inventory hanggang fragile tape…. Kahit viber hearts-hearts at palms praying symbols, mahalaga lahat…especially at our age and these days when it’s impossible to be there for each other (as warm bodies) due to our own busyness of being superwomen ourselves (plus dealing with our own life struggles), and despite the technology to connect us all.  

Hugs 2ALL.

From this Day onwards:

Someday, I know I will count on you. And I will call for help. And you will let it rain.

For now, I need a grammar guru for this blog and someone to remind me what went on Day 1.