To my Mom and Dad - I wasn't around to lend comfort to your grief. But we've managed to zoom for the nth time. Uncle Vic's and Tita Ely's deaths felt like God's way of preparing me for the inevitable. I don't know how I'll be able to cope. I admit, there were days when I wish you would just both relax & be merry, or be thankful for this second chance together. I promise to be there for either of you, just like how I did my best to see mom through all the pain she had to go through when she first lost you.
To my Cousin-sins - we all lost our dearest Tita Ely - in that loss, we kinda found each other all over again. Time just flew by and all of a sudden we are no longer swim-pool buddies and playmates at Alabang. I will always have fond memories of being cousins playing mahjong, Trip to Heaven, all sorts of card games, Agawan base...and that memory of staring at this adult magazine we chanced upon at the Matoto residence and we all said "Yuck!!!"
To my Tito Uning and Tita Susan - I don't know how it will be like when your time comes. I can only promise to be with my cousins, as usual. And you bet, we will share the happiest moments we have spent with you.
To Cla - your FB post made me see how dead serious the consequences of this presidency's grave mistakes vs the Filipino people. I truly am sorry for you and your brother's loss.
To Kat - we've kept in touch for more than 3 yrs since you've gone your way to Aussie-land. And yes, I've wrestled with God about trials which come your way. Then this very sad news of your M passing away. I've said some selfish words to you and yet your responses always remind me of my limitations and the limitless kind of love you have for your dearies. I really pray some day we would cross paths once again. Is that too much to ask from God who wills things?
To Sol - I miss you even more these days when I feel so out of touch transitioning from USQ to UPOU. It's like Collab 2020 wasn't enough. I really want to know how you are these days and now I understand why you needed space. Thank you still, for giving me the chance to get to know your dad. Some things about Fathers which occupy an entirely different space in our hearts and minds...
To Victor - I've let you down many times. That includes my lack of understanding of 'grief' and the Catholic rosary's sorrowful mysteries. And so, I've been asking God for quite some time, that I be the one to go first. I have your best interest in mind of course-always have. This year, more than ever, you have been a source of strength for all of us.
To Rachel and Atel - we have lost a part of ourselves as we faced life's battles. Mine are nothing compared to yours and so I can only listen & listen well. And I know in my heart you will be there should God's will prevail over mine & you will always help me understand his unfathomable ways.
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