Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Limits to my Cognition

I'm in my fourth year = Sem 1 2020.

Funny that I am still asking for help with regards to abstract writing.
That.is.so.basic.

It's like a pre-req to Assistant Professordom and yet why am I still
relying on crutch to get me through the actual abstract of my dissertation.
I set a consultation to condense it from a 600 word to  a 500 word abstract. Before that session, I had to shrink it from 800 to 600. Still cant get it down to 500.

I reviewed the recording and it's the same sense I'm getting of how my thinking=written work really is.  What's sticky:

- my written expression ain't direct to the point
- my findings are still all over the place
- my contribution to research ain't significant enough or at least I still have not communicated that clearly

That's the painful reality of it.  The months and months of work further validate my waterloo+.  Sad...

So what does this mean - I am certain,  I'll be getting my PhD. I just have to. It is going to happen, but post-PhD will I have to hire a writing coach for the written work I need to do? Or for project proposals which I need to come up with?

I think what this PhD is telling me (or at least I feel about it today)
is that it takes soooo much effort for my brain to attain clarity of thought and precision of language.

I didn't feel like this when I was working on my past papers. So maybe the difficulty is rooted on the project itself -- a doctoral dissertation entails so much more -  an expansive reading of the literature,  a larger data to present, interpret and analyze. Then of course, there's more to synthesize. And learning to be efficient and systematic about all these.

I ask, what is there to feel great about when it comes to my cognition?

Today = I.dont.know.




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