Monday, July 15, 2013

Why I Should Think I CAN...or ELSE what then...

So, I am towards the last leg of my research proposal, and still, I am boggled. Why did not I come across these books months ago!!!
I am now faced with these 2 verrry important works on Case Study research, the one by R. Stake (1995) and by R. Yin (2003). Guess what they both have in common...their first name which is Robert. Somehow these 2 Roberts found time to put in writing what CS research is all about. It makes both glad and confused at the same time.

Glad because they both have detailed everything there is to know about the basics of qualitative  case study methodology, both have unique ways of discussing about this. Confused because of course, I do not know now what to make out of my planned research proposal. I have to review my research questions, tweak it for one last time before I proceed to the add 2-3 crucial paragraphs.

These thoughts leave me to think that perhaps I should start thinking that I really CAN do this thing called PhD. Why is this so?

-In a span of 2 months and 2 weeks, I have seriously done a lot of reading and writing, and when I almost thought I could no longer go on, I went on.

-That all this time, I thought I would not be able to fix my proposal, but then I did, and still am.

-That at one point, I thought, let my IELTS score be the judge of that. But my IELTS turned out to be just enough to qualify me for 3 unives. Despite being discouraged for not getting the ideal score, it turns out, I would still want to save up for an IELTS retake, go through the process all over again, if, that is what it takes to get the score I want. It turns out, I am not discouraged at all and still here blogging away, and really having no need to retake the IELTS.

-That I think one of the reasons why I still keep at this is because I am still learning more about research and learning more about myself.  I have done all types of case studies in the past and only now that I am gaining  new ways of looking at it and finally appreciating it from an academic point of view.

-I have published works using the case study method and intend to do more in the future, hone my skills so as to guide other student-teachers in the future.

-That despite watching World War Z, and knowing the fact that we shall all die anyway, then what to make out of what I have and what I can still do in this life...


So I should think I can really give this a go. And if despite all of the above, no unive accepts me, then it only means 1 thing: I have to go for an alternate reality, which I always find anyway. Wondering about  how that alternate reality shall come to be,  keeps me wondering, keeps me going, and still keeps things suspended in midair--the uncertainty propels me to do what I can most certainly try to do today, if only to know better what lies ahead.