When the going gets tough, the Underwoods get going!

When the going gets tough…the Underwoods get going.

Id like to say, I do, too, though not in a Claire and Francis manner.

 

It can be tough to really know it in your face!!!

 

Ive been going round in circles  and just when I thought I have moved forward, Im back to the same comments and questions my advisers have raised about my research questions since April to June = Sem 1 at my QLD university.

 

So this is what Ive accomplished so far:

 

      1)      Ive learned a lot about DBR…but had to set it aside for now.

2)      My focus is not the teacher training BUT the exploration of the COI

3)      Im really just aiming to  understand LC through the presences of the COI as a first step

4)      Im relearning how to do a case study research, the right way. I can make use of qualitative and quantitative methods, haha!

5)      That this time around, I am not just about to give up.

 

I need to consciously lay these out to remind myself that yes, I am getting somewhere, and yes I have no other choice but to carry on.

 

In the midst of learning are also points of reaching frustration levels…almost 3 times this Sem 2.

You know that feeling when you’re trying your damn best and yet it feels like your head I banging against the wall. I’m trying to shake the sense out of it but nothing comes out. You know that feeling that instead of thinking deeply, I think in circles trying hit but then I just always keep missing the point of the feedback. It feels like a guessing game –am I getting what my adviser is trying to point out??? Am I finally getting it??? Oh no, I’m not getting it. Or that feeling when things are just about clear, I still see an alternate area and go for it so I end up wasting time because if I don’t cover it that way, I may not be able to zero in on just one. Everything seems to be tentative, fussy or messy.

 

I ask myself: Isn’t this was how it was when I was doing doctoral work at my university in the Philippines.?

 

I beg to say it is NOT similar because this time, after banging my head and going around in circles, and yes, ok with a bit of crying out of self-frustration, I say to myself I can do this and will keep on doing this.

My advisers thankfully have held on…as dutifully and as interestingly as they can. I say interestingly because I am amazed with their professionalism, capability and kindness= the quality of mentoring I need at this time. I know I am doing my best and whether it shall take an interim report or whether I get into an Academic Intervention Strategy to  help me get through this, then I will get through. This is me acknowledging that I need all the help I can get and YES,  I can help myself.

What does university education, the Australian kind mean to me now? It means my flaws are real as can be and I can face up to these. In helping myself, I know that in the future, I will be able to help another fellowman in need.

In the midst of political turmoil, social decay, frustrating leadership in my home country under D'Tardism which I have no control over, all I can do is solve ME so I can solve what there is to be.

…there is no other way, no other time but NOW…and with much prayer, God will help me prevail.

 

 

 

 

When the Sandbox Gets Too Dirty….

Time to step out....

Ive spent about 5 months in the sandbox, looking at different tools, some familiar some unfamiliar. The unfamiliar got me a bit excited and nervous.

It’s this thing called Design Based Research. So I got down to reading…more reading, writing and writing, trying to make it fit. I became eager to learn about something new to try. But I still find the territory unfamiliar. Will reading more about it and writing more about it do the thing? Not quite sure.

 While I was trying to make it fit though, I saw that my Chapter 3 is still general mix of sorts – DBR, Mixed Methods and Case Study – it was practically like everything of everything. It only goes to show what Im capable of taking in or understanding…but I need time to step back a bit, reflect and foresee the exact contribution my research will be doing, then work back from there.

I was worried that going for a DBR is too big a risk to go for, but I still managed to understand what it’s about and look forward to the day that I can say to myself Im ready to go for it.

So....the verdict is this: 

I think I may have the skills and the energy to learn DBR  BUT it is not yet the time to go for it as far as this HDR is concerned. 

And this is when I say, time to get out of the sandbox because it is time to set priorities straight, before I  get my brains too mixed up.

That being a wake up call, here are my new goals:

1)    I want to use this time during my  doctoral studies to master data analysis techniques in qualitative research. It is an area which has been purely guesswork from my end.

2)    Then Id like to get into a study where I can have different unique cases.

I still feel positive, not disheartened, given the idea that I will still be working with different cases as a way to determine which among the cases can be a potential school to partner with. And by that time, I will be able to do a DBR. What can be more interesting is if I could finally be able to do a DBR with actual collaborators: research students, public school teachers and student teachers doing practice teaching.

IN OTHER WORDS….

Option A: Go take a risk on DBR – be clear about the intervention and iteration portion

1)    Read a sample DBR Theses. Go back to revise my research questions.

2)    Revise Chapter 3:  remove non essentials, to make it into a solid DBR.

3)    Magnify portion on Intervention and Iteration

4)    Follow suggested structure of a DBR Proposal—based on Herrington et al

5)    Then revise Chapter 3.

        Option B: Simplify your life.

1)    Find time to read more intently on Qualitative research.

2)    Beef up missing portions of your Chapter 3

3)    Go reflect on end contribution and work back.

4)    Review salient points which panel might ask: ex Why COI, constructivist if in case your cases are still in transition or instructivist---hence Im looking into SP and TP intersection= as a means to support transition to constructivist;  Why COI—because frameworks have been used grounded on it but they seem to be missing out the point on looking at intersections and doing it integratively.

5)    Capitalize on what you have accomplished= there are clear research gaps your study would like to address. Go for the Significance once and for all.

Again, you have done things to rule out so that you can rule in what should matter at this time in your HDR study.

-->

Breathing in....aaaand out. 

Why I Should Think I CAN...or ELSE what then...

So, I am towards the last leg of my research proposal, and still, I am boggled. Why did not I come across these books months ago!!!
I am now faced with these 2 verrry important works on Case Study research, the one by R. Stake (1995) and by R. Yin (2003). Guess what they both have in common...their first name which is Robert. Somehow these 2 Roberts found time to put in writing what CS research is all about. It makes both glad and confused at the same time.

Glad because they both have detailed everything there is to know about the basics of qualitative  case study methodology, both have unique ways of discussing about this. Confused because of course, I do not know now what to make out of my planned research proposal. I have to review my research questions, tweak it for one last time before I proceed to the add 2-3 crucial paragraphs.

These thoughts leave me to think that perhaps I should start thinking that I really CAN do this thing called PhD. Why is this so?

-In a span of 2 months and 2 weeks, I have seriously done a lot of reading and writing, and when I almost thought I could no longer go on, I went on.

-That all this time, I thought I would not be able to fix my proposal, but then I did, and still am.

-That at one point, I thought, let my IELTS score be the judge of that. But my IELTS turned out to be just enough to qualify me for 3 unives. Despite being discouraged for not getting the ideal score, it turns out, I would still want to save up for an IELTS retake, go through the process all over again, if, that is what it takes to get the score I want. It turns out, I am not discouraged at all and still here blogging away, and really having no need to retake the IELTS.

-That I think one of the reasons why I still keep at this is because I am still learning more about research and learning more about myself.  I have done all types of case studies in the past and only now that I am gaining  new ways of looking at it and finally appreciating it from an academic point of view.

-I have published works using the case study method and intend to do more in the future, hone my skills so as to guide other student-teachers in the future.

-That despite watching World War Z, and knowing the fact that we shall all die anyway, then what to make out of what I have and what I can still do in this life...


So I should think I can really give this a go. And if despite all of the above, no unive accepts me, then it only means 1 thing: I have to go for an alternate reality, which I always find anyway. Wondering about  how that alternate reality shall come to be,  keeps me wondering, keeps me going, and still keeps things suspended in midair--the uncertainty propels me to do what I can most certainly try to do today, if only to know better what lies ahead.

 

RP to R.I.P.

So I have spent approximately 2 weeks over the summer plus 4 weekdays to do the 4-6 page research proposal Murdoch Unive asked of me, which I shall likewise use for my IIT Bombay application.

What am I learning so far:
-to follow 1-day routines of working on portions of my RP
-to curtail on what should be curtailed during bbbreaks
-to really SEE that RP is all about posing arguments as to why this research is worth doing
-more on QR=p 85-98 of QCRM 2nd edition by Lindolf and Taylor, 2002

How about self reflections--
-that all of my self driven explorations and on-my-own research pursuits outside my PhD curriculum studies coursework--has led me to this
-that I have taken at least 2 new steps as to how RRL should be and that is to use my voice and not hide behind merely weaving prior researchers' works
-that I really need a mentor to work on my quali R methodologies--so far I can only learn it if it is done this way: show me the final product/research then let's draw out all these QR methods of data gathering and analysis
-that I have yet to see a book on QR that is instructive and done in the manner I have mentioned above
-that the reason why I am still here pursuing this proposal for a PhD is because of this state of disequilibrium--how to choose the design, instrument and method of analysis for this kind of research I would like to do

I would want to finally have a final submission of this RP so I can get a moment's R.I.P.

Still here and not giving up on me....

NO Chopping Allowed Here!

I can imagine a panel of reviewers finding ways to chop here and there as that is their job.
But this is my space so NO Chopping Allowed here...unless you are Nellie or the learners in her class:

Still here and finding Nellie..
Validating the Online Teaching-Learning Process



Nellie's February 18 and February 25, 2011 sessions are telling of how she consciously engages her students in relevant discussions and information exchange about what it means to teach and learn online  through these questions: “What's the difference between learning online and learning ina face to face classroom?”. She spends a big chunk of these sessions to facilitate and drive the discussion towards understanding active participation, collaborative and social learning while affirming the participants' perspectives about language learning,  A learner expresses how he does not like the idea of being corrected for his language, and to this Nellie goes:


“...I like what you say about being corrected. Yes, English teachers and teachers in general, uhm....like to correct students and this could have a bad effect on many students. You're right, being corrected too much can take away your confidence. So we don't really need to correct students. I don't believe in correcting students even if some want it. I think the best thing for learning is actually to model.....and we all make mistakes and this is online interaction, interacting with people. We are all learners and we are all teachers because we are all sharing information. So let's talk about active learning because one of the differences between ah...face to face classrooms and the uhm...online class is the fact that you get active learning....”


Interestingly, it is also through these sessions that learners willingly exchange their ideas about online learning and language learning per se. Through the chatbox and audio interactions, the learners surface a variety of direct links, online tools and resources to learn English and these are You Tube, Google Docs, Facebook, MSN, LiveMocha, ICQ, BlipTV, BBC and Second Life, to include sharing about countries where a few of these are blocked.


In these sessions, Nellie manages to emphasize a valuable point by bringing in Richard Green, a New York City English teacher and his class of language learners real time. It was a good way to show to everyone the limitless possibilities of learning English 24/7 using a live synchronous platform such as WizIQ to engage in “Speak English Now”, have a F2F class join in during the live session and then later on continue learning English using an asynchronous “LEO4U” or “Learn English Online For You”. Nellie wraps up the healthy online exchange through these statements:


“This was a great class...The class is you. You make the classes what they are. I'm just here to give you a chance but you are doing everything and as Cata said people teach people. It's not one person—it's not teacher teaching. It's everyone teaching everybody. And that's what's wonderful because we are from all over the world and we're teaching, we're connecting. And I think that's what's the internet is bringing to us. And I think it's wonderful. Thank you. Thank you everyone.”


From my view, these explicit communicative efforts are what can be labelled as metacognitive acts or ways for a teacher to make learners know and reflect about the how's and why's of one's learning in an online environment. In the case of Nellie's classes, this was done in 2 substantive sessions and later on, at every chance she gets to emphasize the buzz words in online learning environments, and these are: active participation, interactive, learning collaboratively, learning via the Internet 24/7. Such acts may also be attempts to build a semblance of online class identity or sense of community among language learners which Nellie at one time labelled as “It's a global class.“ ... "Because online, there is no hierarchy. Everyone can be a teacher and everyone can be a learner.”

To Chop or not to Chop? So Blog It is!

In Quali R, I have found space to do the kind of writing I'd like to do which is basically a merging of heart and mind. This usually happens when I feel it's finally time to just let it out. In the past, I've struggled with the "I" point of view  and whether this is even acceptable in the academic world. I wring  and wrestle with my brains whenever I need to decide which portions to chop and which to make sticky due to the page limitations set by conference submission requirements.  Then I get pressured and go through an oc-oc mode. Whenever that happens, my energies are spread thin. By the time I do my presentation, I sometimes feel I sound like a robot---I stick to reading parts of my paper for fear of getting lost and failing to connect with the audience. My Fil-Am English may sound good but that simply does not make the cut for me, especially if I am carrying the name of my unive!!!


And so I blog now. I have here the freedom to include an excerpt from my initial case study report about Nellie, one of the  exemplary teachers at WizIQ. [ Why not you do the chopping cuz I just can't!]. And before you go on...Happy World Teachers' Day! Cheers to this one great teacher I met through WizIQ. Of course, I thank the WizIQ community  for your  indications of "following" and thumbs up= "recommendations" as seen in Nellie's profile page. You guys  led me to her (and to Namrata and who can even miss George of EduPunk!)

Connecting with Online Learners All over the World
Nellie (audio+video):“Ok...let's see. We got Romania, India and any other countries?
sali: iran
Nellie (audio + video): Taiwan...Lithuanian. Iran, yes. I see. Great. So we've got almost the whole world....
arun(chat): diversified session
Nellie (audio + video): Diversified session...thank you, Arun.

Nellie takes time to introduce herself  as "Dr Nellie Deutsch" or simply “Nellie”, a female from Canada, in the same way that she bothers to place her learners geographically by asking “Where are you from?”. Learners' responses are seen one after the other via the chatbox and she is quick to acknowledge their country of origin or nationality while also mentioning their usernames right after the learners do their greetings.  At times, Nellie sets the mood: “I am in Toronto and the weather is absolutely beautiful and it's snowing.....Tonight we are going to be really interactive. Elena says it's a beautiful day, it's snowing, it's cold. Ok you can share that in the chatbox. Let me try and see if we can have some background music...” Nellie is also keen when it comes to knowing her learners' names by passing on the mic to them so she can have them properly pronounce their names while she tries to listen and get her pronunciations right enough. She continues to welcome learners anytime in her class even while she is in the midst of a discussion and she quickly restates the context or topic the class is already tackling.


To a few ones, Nellie comes across with more warmth as her tone changes to greet particular learners: “Oh, hello Aka Ken!”... “Virginia, I haven't heard you in such a long time. I miss your voice and I miss seeing you very much...” After a student had his/her turn to speak over the mic for everyone to hear, she naturally pours out praise and encouragement. She does this to each and every student as a way to connect with them and reinforce speaking in English in whatever accents they bring. After all, she names her series of classes at WizIQ “Speak English Now”.


To Nellie, connecting with learners does not stop with finding out names, timezones, geographical settings or nationalities. She does this at a personal level by sharing personal anecdotes about her self, her family roots, her husband, and her daughter. She candidly expresses “I love....” then refer to an object or activity which is to her most liking. Talking about herself becomes an act of sharing that even one time she a matter of factly stated her areas of expertise in response to a student who nonchalantly inquired about her library of books as seen from the learner's video/webcam. Even stating so was perfectly done in context since this response happened in one session which Nellie devoted to facilitate a topic about online language  teaching and learning at WizIQ, and using other online tools and resources.


Connecting with learners is about Nellie revealing her personality as teacher and as a lifelong learner, including her beliefs about teaching and learning online through her online classes: “What is the common goal? It's learning English and not just listen to English but to actually speak it, live it and enjoy it!”. Her manner creates a safe, warm and fun atmosphere for learners to comfortably be who they are, share their views or experiences and even disclose their reflections about themselves as English speakers and language learners. Because Nellie comes across as a person whose curiosity is well meaning then learners equally build rapport with each other through the chatbox by typing their simple 'hi's' or 'hello's' and using the same questions to learn more about each others' backgrounds. Learners naturally respond to sharing their views and experiences due to the topics selected by Nellie which make functional, practical as well as personal use of language. Connecting with online learners all seem to be about taking actions which are grounded on the values of sincerity, sharing and trustbuilding. To my mind, these are the key ingredients which make for learners to equally engage in language use to share about themselves. Hence, communication in Nellie's class is not just about speaking English but even more about communicative acts toward building online identity and connections for all participants. And communication through the tools of technology become the primary vehicle to do just that.

Teaching Presence: Restating Themes

Initial coding was done via:
-previewing of videos of selected teachers
-focused viewing of selected recorded videos and taking notes of 1 exemplary teacher

Then another layer of coding based on synchronized audio-chat transcripts have  finally refined themes which I'd like to identify here.

A.connecting with online learners
-sharing of personal information
-sense of geographical space/location/time
-acknowledging presence of all learners
-addressing learners by name
-remarking about accents and Englishes

B validating online teaching-learning process
-metacognition about online learning
-praise and recognition for actions

C. engaging and sustaining  interactivity
-use of relevant topics: culture related, current events, everyday culture
-choice of topic which encourages speaking and vocabulary building
-language teaching moments
-direct instruction
-modelling-
-facilitation--chat and audio and both
-providing timely information and prompt feedback
-use of online tools/resources
-level of discourse--
-
*facility in use of vc features--multitasking chat,


D.managing the virtual classroom
-troubleshooting
-comments about technology
-developing codes for vc usage

E. building identity of teacher, learner and community of learners!!!
-recognizing cultural backgrounds
-global classroom
-i love...

***This is what it means to learn language online, this is what it means to become an online teacher, this is what it means to be an online learner, this is what it means to be in a community of online teachers-learners

Batch 2 of Exemplary Teacher 1 will allow me to examine interactions more closely.

QR=P.O.E.M.

A helpful link to help me focus:
http://psychsoma.co.za/qualitative_inquiry_growt/ontology-epistomology-paradigm/

P-aradigm
O-ntology
E-pistemology
M-ethodological

"It is important that there is a fit between the research design and the researcher, with regard to (p. 36):



1.Paradigm—what is the basic belief system or world view of the researcher that defines the nature of her/his world, the individual's place within it and the range of p[possible relationships?


2.Ontology—what is the form and nature of reality and what is there to be known?


3.Epistemology—what is the relationship between the researcher and the would be 'knower' and what can be 'known' about it?


4.Methodological—how can the researcher go about finding out what s/he believes can be known?"


Goulding, C. 2002. Grounded Theory—a practical guide for management, business and marketing researchers. London: SAGE.

My P.O.E.M.....again and again.
P: I am here as a novice online teacher learning from exemplary online teachers at WizIQ. It is a unique perspective I would like to take because there is no other way I can view the recorded classes--I am primarily here to examine how they do online teaching therefore describe the  nature of teaching presence in these live classes. I am not here as an ESL learner nor an ordinary teacher.  I have a clear purpose to capture the online teaching happening and interpret it from the point of view of a novice online teacher.

O: What I want to know is the TP that happens in a synch platforms. What has been studied in TP is based on asynch platforms therefore I ask: What is TP like in synch platforms? 

Then hunches here after a few recordings:
Is TP just about the teacher? Why does it feel like TP-LP both among teachers and learners. Could it be that: TP-------------LP  as a range of online behaviors, actions and interactions among teachers and learners which eventually make for TP----LP in synchronous classes? TP cannot be viewed in isolation in synch classes then.

E: Why is my E similar to P?  :(

M: See my revised research proposal for the  UPOU Faculty Research Grant .

Forked Path: Which is which?

I am at this point when I am tempted to do something nitty gritty for my study vs. keeping focus on what I think I should do first. The nitty gritty is this: I have 4-6 audio transcriptions in. for Nellie's classes. I want to align the data, meaning to say on a sheet of paper, I'd like to align the audio flow vs the chat--make the data in sync. That's the best term I can think of.

Recalling here the steps I've  done so far in terms of data gathering:
1) Scheme through 1 recording per teacher: N, G and NA. This gave me a sense of their classes.
    Then I've selected classes based on most recent recordings (due to recent WizIQ changes in the virtual class, consecutivity---how close the sessions are so I can follow the flow of content)
2) Transcribe 1 recording per teacher--this is to get used with the language they have; the communication happening and start taking down notes on what is happening.
3) View more of Nellie's recordings to examine her teaching and what's going on in her classes. I've started to take note of segments in the recordings and code teaching moments on my scratch sheet.
4) After viewing the first identified batch, I decided to select more classes.
5) Then I've asked 2 people to start with the audio transcriptions as I move on with viewing the Batch 2 recordings and noting  more segments to highlight.
6) I've seen emerging themes and would want to exhaust the data hence viewed  Jan-mid Feb recordings.
7) This time I've experienced a shift---I have now started to pay close attention to the chat to audio interactions, chat-chat interactions, audio to chat responses.

Since now I have the transcriptions in for Batch 1, I am torn between:
Plan A= doing a chat-audio sync of the data on paper  OR
Plan B=simply focusing on the audio transcriptions.

Plan B goes this way:  I review  Nellie's recordings again=2nd level. This means my goal is to look at the audio transcriptions then start highlighting segments based on my initial notations=coding.  I see the need to do this lest I forget the context of my notations.  This time, I shall follow a more systematic flow--starting with (Feb 18), Feb 25, March 5, March 12, March 25, April 1. 

So here goes.... I will go for Plan B.  Do this for 1 week....and keep blogging. I need to get over school reports then writing proper for research start first week of October.

Photo finish in time for October 11-13 Conference at Penang. My paper will end with a degree of certainty=emerging themes + uncertainty=possibilities for future investigation of the 'interactions' which is about a semblance of not just TP---but tp + lp= as role both T and L do.  Final questions raised=is this just unique to the style of teacher and how her perspective of online teaching and language learning? or are there in fact observable patterns in among exemplary teachers w/ a range of  teaching style.

Side questions:
1)How is teaching presence diff from teaching style and online teaching? Or what are the relations?
2) May I do a first person writing? What justifies such? Where/which part/how should I write about the choice to do first person?

I feel like I'm scribbling co centric circles in this QR path---it ain't linear at all. But it's a path I feel safe in navigating with the knowledge that this is all part of the process.  After all, I realized that I am going through this with ample reflections---I am not yet in the-wanting- to- get- this- over- and- done- with phase. I am still learning something new and look forward to seeing more recordings of N & G....G most especially!

Morrrre Hworrrrk Ahead

I've definitely snapped out of Kesha and Iglesias, now into Duncan Sheik. The music allows me to do some mech stuff of cutting and pasting  chat transcripts and audio transcripts of recordings  from Nellie's classes at WizIQ....cutting and pasting into a table. The next step is to align chat with audio transcript to show a text version of the sequence of interaction.  Then there's the need to highlight segments to match with the first level of  handwritten notes. This is like the second level of coding I need to do though I've already started to see themes I will be discussing in my findings.

This is kinda nitty gritty but a step beyond what I did with my study on Virtual Communities 2 years ago.
I would like to believe that I'm not rushing into things nor doing more hits and misses. In fact, my observations are now shifting.  With the first set of recordings (Mar to Apr 2011), my focus was on the facilitation/direct instruction/design, aspects of TP as defined by Garrison et al 2001 in their COI framework.  Now, I'm looking into the interactions, ex learner responses which fuels the teaching process. These are interactions which go on, even without the teacher explicity directing nor facilitating, even learner responses which allow the teacher to respond on the dot---the spontaneity of discussion happening which show how TP can be dynamic and interactive in a synch class vs a non synch class.  I'm starting to think if this interactivity is similar to an F2F kind of interactivity.  Is there interactivity innate to an online synch class vs an F2F version? Meaning if Nellie were to tackle same content with same type of students, will the interaction take place differently and therefore the TP happen differently as well? I find it a weird question to ask, lol.

Lately, my questions about the Quali-R  process are popping here and there...quite different from prior questions I've raised. Like should I have observed the earlier recorded classes first (last year)?  Will my observations differ if  let's say I joined the live class vs relied on the recorded  version? 

And a major question goes this way:  is teaching presence online teaching perse?  Who dictates the parameters of online teaching vs teaching presence if in the context of the paper, I am not merely relying on the TP from the COI perspective. Is my study then more about online teaching OR teaching presence? Isn't online teaching=teaching presence in synch classes?

I hope this confusing doesn't mess things up for me. It has to be a disciplined confusion=the act of knowing one is confused but accepting this as part of the process of research; a conscious effort to be aware of one's confusions so that one becomes conscious of these being resolved later on. And that this is NOT about confusing one's self for the sake of getting confused. Darn....

Stuck...!

A few transcriptions are coming in. I've made rough/draft notations on 5 or more recordings. I thought I can just simply carry on but for the past days I've been blogging like hell trying to clear my mind so I can focus. Obviously, I am stuck. I thought I can do this study smoothly once the transcriptions are coming in  but I'm still here worried about something.

I reviewed my proposal and looked at my review of lit and I know that I missed out on writing what I should.  I've been doing case studies before but nothing like this.  My prior work was kinda in the bag---I have  a clear direction in mind, I have the data in my hands, then I add all these theories/lit review to support my study.  All I had to do was come up with thick descriptions, examine these using existing theories etc.

It's quite tempting to do the same for this paper...I can just use the indicators  set by Garrison, et al in the COI framework which has gained support throughout the decade.  I can do my observations, describe the teaching presence based on this indicators and reinforce what COI has been saying about Teaching Presence.

At this point however, I'd like to dump my written proposal and come up with something different= Discuss construct of TP based on prior research done, surface 2-3 recent studies which tried to question TP.... then raise my simple question about TP---I'd like to simply write about what I'm seeing while immersed in the recorded classes---like  a novice teacher learning from an expert online teacher. I have to let go off all these wasteful trimmings I've put in my proposal and trust that  my interpretation shall be credible.

I do not know if that is a kind of Quali R writing that is acceptable.

And now, I  am  badly wishing for a mentor who can patiently read all my prior case studies/published works, tell me what I can work on, tell me what I'm learning and tell me if my experiments are even taking me anywhere. I'm obviously lost and trying my best to get out of this hole.

Funny and even silly that this is making me emotional. I am giving myself only 1 more day to get stuck.

A few resolutions:

1) Go back to what I enjoy best in this study---viewing the classes

2) Continue blogging and perhaps blog about your 1 sole subject for now.

3) Have a psysolution: believe that I will get there because I've always had...except my f****** PhD!

4) Music therapy or jog or yoga :)

5) Now whether or not I will resort to a safe mode or  take chances and dare trod in uncertainties---I simply have to visualize myself on a plane on my way to Penang or Kerala or wherever because I did try to do something than nothing at all.

R.I.P. aLeTa!

Filtering Ideas=Pure and Simple TP

I need to remove unnecessary eklavoos before I start viewing+interpreting more classes at WizIQ and writing. Hence a few more reminders here for me:

1) Remove the idea of effective teaching from my pie.
2) For lit review---veer away from the whole COI framework and instead focus on what is said about teaching presence only---instructor presence...therefore look for Kessler's work
3) I can still afford to write about synchronous online platforms--only to establish that much research on TP + indicators are along the lines of asynchronous classes.
4) Mention emerging themes perhaps from prior research but mention also the nature of the data gathering---one is based on interviews of students, one is based on interviews of teachers---how about recorded classes and as interpreted by the researcher.

The above only mean that I as researcher, am doing this study to provide an interpretation of TP as viewed from a novice teacher's view---an outsider looking into the classes to observe how TP is happening.

I am not asking nor measuring nor relating this to the idea of effective teaching...instead I am plainly and purely looking into TP and what it is.

So if I am not even relating this to effective teaching, the significance of my study then is this: I am contributing to research on TP by providing another data source, another data gathering methodology to interpret TP. ...or perhaps another way of looking at TP?Is that it? What is f****** missing!!!


Preliminary Findings point to this one research question....
"How is teaching presence happening in live synchronous classes of exemplary language teachers?"

"Oh YESSS I Like It!"

That's the Enrique Iglesia tune which has kept me company in this 4 day break ala home alone mode which has given me the time and space to rethink my study therefore reflect on Quali-R. Prior to Iglesias, I was in a Kesha mode for 2 mos just to come up with the research proposal on TP@WizIQ. Now, I'm in a path of disequilibrium which is still within my zone of proximal development, not yet an upsetting nor frustrating level kind since I've managed to postpone gratifying myself with a Cold Chai Frappe or Banana Cream Pie. I deserve to be gratified once I have something settled in my brain.

First thing to settle is this: the term EPISTEMOLOGICAL ASSUMPTION. No matter how many times I've come across that word, the meaning still isn't sticky to me. For one, it sounds like EPISTLE--so suddenly I relate it with the GOSPEL of Paul. Then that -OLOGY reminds me of some science word along with the other -OLOGIES I have to retain in my brain. Then ASSUMPTION, thaaat other Catholic sosyalerang private school which reminds me of a school uniform silly alumni members wear everytime they have a reunion. How did they ever come up with such a hellish idea! And to think it's a tradition they've passed on and on. I'm so glad to be a Maryknoller and UP grad. Anyways... EPISTEMOLOGICAL ASSUMPTION=a way of viewing at knowledge... a positioning....

What is my positioning in my current research of TP@WizIQ? I am an experienced teacher basic ed + developing higher ed online teacher + novice at synchronous platform. This is my reality hence I wanted to observe expert online teachers because....I want to learn from their practices. I am not here to measure how effective they are. I am here to see what and how they are doing it which make them connect with their students and make their interactions come alive as if everything is F2F. As researcher, I'd like to write it--as if the learning interactions are in right in front of my readers--and reflect on what I'm getting--what do their interactions mean. This is the reality I would like to document.
Whenever I view a recording, I do not take notes as if merely to describe--I go straight to interpreting what is happening=this is what I think about what they are doing.

Validity is gradually arrived at after adequate engagement in data collection, member checks (if possible) or stating my research position
. The 'rich & thick' description will be the test of this case study.
As to whether the results are consistent to the data collected...I do not know, YET what that means? :( Why does Quali-R make one delve in a state of uncertainty?

To carry on, I have to slay the obstacle---paper deadline and trust that I will be able to come up with something good to share on October 11.

Need to read on sample study---to see the portion where/when researcher discloses her positioning, and more importantly, how.

May I write this paper using the first person?

As opposed to Iglesias, I would not want to stay in this state for a long time. I would like the idea of arriving at something with having moments of this in bits....fear of being bogged down...hala LAGOT!