Arroz Chicken Soup for my Soul

Dahil may tira-tirang chicken breast bones ang aking AirBnb host, nasayangan ako. Bukod sa chicken breast, may pakpak. So pinatulan ko muna yung pakpak bago kinuha ang chicken buto butong may konting laman at ni-ref.

Subalit sa dala na rin ng nais kong magsabaw, tyinaga kong gumawa ng arroz caldo.

Pinakuluan muli ang buto, inantay lumamig, at saka hinimay konti para sa naiiwang chicken laman. Nagdikdik ng bawang, naghiwa ng sibuyas at binudburan ng luya at saffron powder. Pinakuluan pang muli at inantay ang panganghalian.

Ha? Ano kamo? Naghimay ng manok? Nag arroz caldo? Ako!!!

Oo ako. Habang hinimay, dun ko naisip si Vic…ang aking butihing maybahay. Mas maybahay siya kase sa aming dalawa, mas si Vic ang talgang kaya mamalagi sa loob ng bahay para magtrabaho at magluto. Sya ang asawang may tiyagang gawin lahat ng mga iyon para siguraduhing kapag kainan na, magsasama muli kami mula sa aming mga nuknok sa bahay—si Miranda sakwarto na forever nanunuod ng KDrama, Narcos at of course, walang katapusang HW. Si Mauro na marahil nagdrorowing o nagvividyo geym o nagchachat o nagmumuni muni…at ako, nag aaral-nananaginip-nabubugnot sa pag-unawa ng mga babasahin at kung paano isulat ang mga kung anu ano.

I guess, uwing uwi na ko para makaisip na mag arroz caldo.

Subalit lulubusin ko ang mga huling araw kong ito sa Toowoomba kung saan ako dinala ni Lord. Ang timing nga naman niya oo…walang katapat! Nasa plano nya lahat ito….alam nya ang panahong magiging busy ako, magiging distracted ako, mapapariwara sa mga life priorities ko. Alam nya lahat yun. At alam din nya kung kelan nya ko bubunotin sa mga iyon para bigyan ako ng muling pagkakataon—sideline lang ang pag-aaral, paalala nya.  Ang Toowoomba memory ko ay bilang pagtanda na tumatanda na ko at ok lang magrelaks nang sa ganoon matanto ko ang katiyakan ng buhay at kamatayan, at ang paglalakbay sa katandaan…at magandang paalala na sa naiiwan kong buhay, may oras para gumawa ng arroz caldo  dahil may oras para tumigil –may oras maalala na ako ay loved---let’s stop and talk a while in the one world of Nescafe…I mean, yeah, I miss you Vic…everything about you and the meals you cook for us at our lovely Binan home….our UP squatter stint, our Teachers Village and your Mahabagin days…and see I forgot that other street name where we stayed. Only you will be able to remind me of those.

And only you who will be around as we grow old together, dearly. Id hate the idea of cooking arroz caldo alone and by myself in our Binan home. But if it has to come to that, I know I will end up doing that just to remember you, and Toowoomba, my early Phd days, God looking out for me, and having thoughts of u…arroz chicken soup for my soul.

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Grrrrrapes!

These grapes are kinda juicy J

So finally I had my first taste of those grapes. I didn’t realize it could be that juicy.

For one, the RedTrain Bootcamp was a bit of a slow start…the usual intros, context, essential agreements…I was hoping to get down to writing at once. I was planning to just pretend to be ‘with’ other participants just to get a chance to meet with a Learning Advisor to finally get that Chapter 3 done. Only because collaboration is nothing new to me. Ive had successes with it. Im seeing my doctoral studies as a chance to finally focus on MY OWN INDIVIDUAL research – since that has always been put aside due to other projects with colleagues and co teachers which  had to be prioritized, fruits of which have actually gotten me here – a clearer research topic to set the direction of future research and life projects for the next & last 10 years of my teaching career.

Then again, perhaps I took the first day a bit for granted.  Within a few hours of Day 2, everything just fell into place – it got the creative juice out of me, but then I know for sure, it’ll get juicier in the days to come.

Looking back, my first few published works were products of collaboration, within my informal research community. Those were attempts to reach out to other fellows because I didn’t trust my initial ideas and own writing. Co-writing those papers then was really a good way for me to get the validation I needed. But also because I actually liked writing about real life experiences as an educator who has made the rounds—from a grade school setting to an informal community based setting, public secondary ed, IBO world school, fully online teacher ed ---back and forth, sideways -- progressive vs traditional schooling,  view from the top and the bottom, etc etc etc. I finally was able to write lots about those through case studies here and there for the sheer joy of decluttering my brain and coming up with something shareable.

This second shot at a fulltime doctoral study project , however, is something bigger than the prior case studies I’ve made. It requires more focus, more skills in data gathering and analysis, a steady resolve to take more risks and to finally find comfort in my own voice. This time around, the accountability becomes greater because it will involve working with other students and teachers beyond my Builders’ School and my  open university. It requires more attention, care and responsibility to make sure trust and respect shall pervade ---pretty much sounds like another marriage….whew!!!

 And so I can only draw inspiration from this RedTrain experience of collaboration…which to me is simply about being naked --- a better sounding word in Filipino is ‘hubad’ or 'lumpiang hubad' (food version) = those yummy Fil-Chinese veggie rolls, unwrapped. Collaboration is like laying down your weapons, taking off your armour…to see each others’ real skin for all its moles, freckles, bumps, wrinkles and colors….because your mates are struggling as you are, and  keeping strong as you are. And in each other, we can only find an ally --- a coach, a cheering squad, an invigilator (of the thesis writing kind) or someone with another pair of eyes trying to make sense of your writing. Collaboration as I’ve shared to willing listeners in my small group, entails seeing each others’ strengths and limitations and having the willingness to engage in the process because of a shared goal to learn and contribute.  In a research writing sense, imagine Petrea and David seeing my naked brain—for all its mess, strangeness, and indecisiveness but they’ve managed to hold on, having a bit more trust in me. I know they are paid to do it, but they really do it pretty well. At my QLD university, I feel that I’m not just a student statistic so I shall continue to rely on Leoni’s words ---that they are here to help.

In between alone time, listening and thinking during Day 1, were worthwhile exchanges with Shirley and Barbara---all coming from our own causes and convictions, and that drive to make something out of those. Barbara was ahead of us and working on 4 journal articles from her dissertation while Shirley and I started just this year. Bonnie and I were working on our proposal, Susan was working on her dissertation writing and a grant proposal.  Imagine the spread in other groups??? And the varied fields we all came from ---agriculture, aviation, physics, education, engineering, economics, IP studies, music --- each having that niche in research (…and we haven’t even gotten around talking about hobbies!)

So, here’s the juice: I’ve got a pack of great feedback, quite honest and reassuring ones from Shirley, Bonnie and Nicole…and of course the more explicit rewording from Susan and Marcus---I practically had no need to see Batman (though I shall demand F2F coach time to learn the how-to's & gain skills in helping my future research advisees). Plus, that instant lift from Barbara and Billy to get my mind off the written word.

I can only feel gratitude: Christine, Marcus, Douglas and Joan (plus all the members of the team)…at the sight of grapes or the taste of grape juice….you shall be remembered.