When the going gets tough, the Underwoods get going!

When the going gets tough…the Underwoods get going.

Id like to say, I do, too, though not in a Claire and Francis manner.

 

It can be tough to really know it in your face!!!

 

Ive been going round in circles  and just when I thought I have moved forward, Im back to the same comments and questions my advisers have raised about my research questions since April to June = Sem 1 at my QLD university.

 

So this is what Ive accomplished so far:

 

      1)      Ive learned a lot about DBR…but had to set it aside for now.

2)      My focus is not the teacher training BUT the exploration of the COI

3)      Im really just aiming to  understand LC through the presences of the COI as a first step

4)      Im relearning how to do a case study research, the right way. I can make use of qualitative and quantitative methods, haha!

5)      That this time around, I am not just about to give up.

 

I need to consciously lay these out to remind myself that yes, I am getting somewhere, and yes I have no other choice but to carry on.

 

In the midst of learning are also points of reaching frustration levels…almost 3 times this Sem 2.

You know that feeling when you’re trying your damn best and yet it feels like your head I banging against the wall. I’m trying to shake the sense out of it but nothing comes out. You know that feeling that instead of thinking deeply, I think in circles trying hit but then I just always keep missing the point of the feedback. It feels like a guessing game –am I getting what my adviser is trying to point out??? Am I finally getting it??? Oh no, I’m not getting it. Or that feeling when things are just about clear, I still see an alternate area and go for it so I end up wasting time because if I don’t cover it that way, I may not be able to zero in on just one. Everything seems to be tentative, fussy or messy.

 

I ask myself: Isn’t this was how it was when I was doing doctoral work at my university in the Philippines.?

 

I beg to say it is NOT similar because this time, after banging my head and going around in circles, and yes, ok with a bit of crying out of self-frustration, I say to myself I can do this and will keep on doing this.

My advisers thankfully have held on…as dutifully and as interestingly as they can. I say interestingly because I am amazed with their professionalism, capability and kindness= the quality of mentoring I need at this time. I know I am doing my best and whether it shall take an interim report or whether I get into an Academic Intervention Strategy to  help me get through this, then I will get through. This is me acknowledging that I need all the help I can get and YES,  I can help myself.

What does university education, the Australian kind mean to me now? It means my flaws are real as can be and I can face up to these. In helping myself, I know that in the future, I will be able to help another fellowman in need.

In the midst of political turmoil, social decay, frustrating leadership in my home country under D'Tardism which I have no control over, all I can do is solve ME so I can solve what there is to be.

…there is no other way, no other time but NOW…and with much prayer, God will help me prevail.