Only gratitude

Today marks my first panic mode day in this dissertation joyride. The panic lasted only for 2 hours, but with 1 hour taking place verrrry early morning.  It was 1:30am and still couldn't sleep.  Something about what my adviser said stuck to my brain. So I started to check flights in case I need to move my stay at Toowoomba should worse come to worst = not completing what I came here for=waste of precious funds.

It took me about halfday to figure out the source of 'why-I-wrote-my findings-and-discussion-chapters-this-way' and finally act on  a real solution. My subheadings ergo content were inconsistent for all 3 major sections of my findings and analysis = Manifestations of the Presences. So though my chunks of qualitative writing make sense to me, I need to make sure it should make sense to the reader-examiner. I spent time to understand why the flow of my work was such. It is because I structured my findings and analysis based on what was being surfaced by the data or should I say how I am interpreting my data. I was like weaving a book chapter section without regard for somekind of predictable pattern to the next few chapters. 

Anyway, in between sorting that out, I kept on telling myself, how else can you make use of your time. So, I managed to get those graphs/ charts/ tables done. While at that, I saw all these little things I have yet to do. Then it felt like my list was getting longer -- I have 3 days left to nail that f***ing chapter. Unless I hurdle that, I won't be able to start reworking 3 chapters and composing last 2 chapters. I feel like one of those Masterchef contestants having 10 minutes left.

So I finally had to stick to my original plan because finally I ruled out the other ways to write this damn thing. The thing is, my brain can't seem to stick to 1 way unless I see for sure the other ways are NOT the ways to do it. 

At 3pm, the writing pretty much flowed. 

This is when I need to express gratitude for the little things that kept me together:

> before 9am, Maria offered me this juicy mango which gave me that energy boost in the morning 

> close to lunch time, I was having sniffles. My seatmate offered me a whole tissue box so I can keep my focus

>Aiden Yeh's Go, go, go response -- that FB reply finally came, such a wait it was.

>Mauro's sudden message, like why at this time? such a coincidence, man!

> Miley Cyrus, your song lyrics kept me in a trance to get thru those nitty gritty chart repairwork

>at around lunchtime, friendly greets from 4 faves in LBlock -  one went - 'How are you, Mahal?'. She's the cutest Dr. I've come across in that side of USQ. Yeps, aesthetics do have this strange effect on my brain.

> saw Gordon Ramsey, T-Block exit while doing my routine walk - THE Gordon Ramsey of LBlock - what a voice, ahhhaaayyy :) :) 

> by 6.30pm, my Chinese housemate offered me her usual beef noodles with  cauliflower -- it tasted supergood. It's the best home-cooked Chinese food one can have after a day's work. 

Now, APowell's PGECR session on things-to-be-grateful-for has finally sank in. If only I can remember what he said exactly. I just know this friendly neighbor of a Spiderman took some time to say his thanks after nailing his thesis.

I still have a loooong way to go. Really loooong way still.
But this is assuring myself that I will nail this! Why so?...see God's message for me and you on this very day: 
                                              

Title of devotional article: 

Just a Touch

Author: 

Tim Gustafson

Webpage link: 

Just a Touch | Our Daily Bread (odb.org)

God takes us out of our comfort zone 

to show us new things, to stretch us, to help us grow. 

But He also brings the courage and comfort to go through every situation. 

He won’t leave us alone in our trials. 

He has everything under control. 

He has us in His hands. 

Reflect & Pray 

How is God taking you out of your comfort zone? 

What friends has He given you for support and comfort?  

Note. From the devotional Just in Touch by T. Gustafson, 2019 

(https://odb.org/US/2019/10/24/just-a-touch-2). 

Our Daily Bread Ministries. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

I swear, if I can help ADHD/ LD ME through THIS, I can help any mala- Sped adult through her/ his PhD.

Acknowledgements v.2.0

I'm getting grumpy and hangrrry. I want to sleep on my King sized bed with Vic and Java beside me. I want rice and chicken inasal.
NOT possible at this time!!!

So, let's do this na = a small but important portion of my dissertation
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This research project is my renewal of vows to the Philippines.
At the most testing time when almost everyone in my FB are either hurting, hopeless or angry, I dug deep to find the reasons for getting into Education in the first place. I believed in it then during Ninoy Aquino's assassination, and I still believe in it now.  Education is still a great weapon against underdevelopment, indifference and hopelessness. 

This journey to educate myself further has  brought me humility, gratitude and rekindled faith in the goodness of people and the love of God. I truly appreciate the greater minds out there who have widened my perspectives, mentored me through qualitative research, listened and challenged me through my academic writing. Through your time and efforts, I have regained trust in myself in order to tread on the last leg of my career as educator-researcher, daydreamer-magic bean-buyer. I'm in this for the long haul.

This research was made possible through the support, resources, inspiration and unselfish knowledge of the following: 

Doctors, amazing and gifted: Dr Arnon Rivera, Dr Teret de Villa, Dr Nemah Hermosa, Dr Lex Librero, Dr Virgilio Manzano, Dr Angelito Manalili, Dr Pat Arinto, Dr Primo Garcia, Dr David Jones, Dr Patrick Danaher, Dr Rachel King, Dr Sophia Imran, Dr Barbara Harmes, Dr Douglas Eacersall, Dr Linda Galligan,  Dr Petrea Redmond and the PGECR group of Doctors and Doctors-to-be - your time and talents are truly appreciated;

Universities and their people: the Research Support Team of USQ,  the University of the Philippines-System, particularly the Office of the Vice President of Academic Affairs and the University of the Philippines Open University - your time and efforts are greatly appreciated.  I shall pay it forward to our studentry.

Teachers, parents, students, school leaders and staff of the Marikina City schools and The  Builders’ School: you have held on through thick and thin for the sake of innovative and progressive education in the Philippines. Press on!

Earl and Nicky and the rest of the Pantillano family: you are my home away from home. There is nothing like our sisterly-brotherly bond in the name of Sigma Delta Phi and Upsilon Sigma Phi.

Rivera, Lazo and Villanueva Clan: my utmost thanks for keeping the love alive over our FB Bonfire and Viber.

Truest friends who go by the name of Rachel, Atel, Queenie, Sol, Nefer, Kat, Diego, and Al-Francis: you have kept in touch with my hyper thoughts and feelings. Please hang in there to keep my heart and mind in place.

Espada and Inocentes family, Anna and Alex: you have kept me warm, well-fed and safe at Queensland. Health and happiness to all of you.

To the couple Julieta '57 and Manuel '57: you still are the sweet and spice of my life. Your love has conquered all. 

U.P. Oblation by Guillermo Tolentino: you have been a silent witness to all my running rage and moments of peace. I lay at your feet compassion and academic excellence. 

Taylor Swift, Dua Lipa, Lorde,  Ennio Maricone, Sting, The Cure,  CMBYN soundtrack, Oasis, Batman, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, Villette, East of Eden, The Literary Apprentice, L422 and G422.10: such great company you are all throughout my writing.

And most of all, to the worshipable Teacher Vic, Miranda and Mauro,  you truly are God's likeness here on Earth. Your love is the greatest of all.

ICON 79724 to Student ID 61094432

Woops, where did this come from. Pulled it out of my USQ app folder.
There you go aLeTa.
A reminder for your Implications and Significance portion -

SUMMARY OF RESEARCH INTERESTS and EXPERIENCES
My initial research interests are in the areas of inquiry learning , integrated curriculum and progressive education. These are borne out my rich classroom-based experiences at the K12 levels and being a co-founder of a small, multi grade progressive school (builderschool.org) The small school serves as venue for my classroom practice and have naturally become a source of research ideas to capture program models and pedagogies through case studies in the context of curriculum as lived experience. Graduate level coursework provided me with the tools to critically examine and analyze school practices in curriculum development and supervision. Four (4) published works and a few conference paper presentations are evidences of these sustained research pursuits throughout the years.

With my movement towards teacher education through open university work, I have found new meaning, but still through qualitative research in these areas: virtual communities, platforms and frameworks for blended and online learning, virtual schooling at the K12, and more recently, the communities of inquiry , particularly teaching presence and learning presence. The frames of analysis have widened a bit, but with more focus as seen through three (3) published works and a series of conference presentations, all of which have been made possible through one faculty research grant and research dissemination grant.

My proposed research is about the elements of the Communities of Inquiry Framework, namely teaching and learning presence in the Philippine Open High School programs. My current experiences as a teacher of teachers in an open university has provided me with the theoretical lens to examine blended and online teaching and learning. I foresee fruitful application of this study in the areas of teacher training and professional development related to blended and online course design/delivery among K12/ high school learners, postsecondary learners in alternative and open learning systems. This thesis shall provide the space for prospective linkages towards the development of continuing education short courses for K12 blended and online instructors, quality blended programs at the basic education level and possible Yr 11-12 partner institutional offerings .

Therefore this research shall continue to fuel my humble contribution to the Philippine educational system in the area of educational innovations, improvements and reform which will benefit a select but marginalized group of teachers and learners who have made their choice to get into flexible modes, open schooling or alternative learning systems.