I was in India for 9 days or so. It felt really good to be there that I hardly missed home. There, I had glimpses of life through story bits shared by women, experiences which are far from my own. I thought I'd come home feeling bad or wishing that I could have chosen to live my life differently--single so I could easily do what I wanted without having to think about a relationship, have the kind of fun I have always wanted and be answerable just to myself, or a life which will allow me to freely roam the earth without worry and just take care of me.
Quite the opposite happened. Coming home all the more proved to me that indeed, I have a happy life here. My children give me so much joy, and my husband keeps things light and leaves me feeling safe and secure. My school and my jobs reassure me that I have made the right choices in life.
I would not have my life any other way. It took a bit of courage and risk- taking to experience "LIFE" and embrace the kind of weird and strange woman that I am. But it took me longer years, to snap out of the idea that I perhaps I was not meant to have kids. Really, it was all in my mind. With a learned perspective of objectivity and rationality, plus a dose of humor I've always had, and appreciation for beauty and the possibility of God, I continue on and don't have to take myself seriously all the time.
Now, at 43, I come home to my loved ones and come home to me. I feel more together than ever. And because I am 43 and soon to be 60, that means I can never take my life and that of others for granted.
Quite the opposite happened. Coming home all the more proved to me that indeed, I have a happy life here. My children give me so much joy, and my husband keeps things light and leaves me feeling safe and secure. My school and my jobs reassure me that I have made the right choices in life.
I would not have my life any other way. It took a bit of courage and risk- taking to experience "LIFE" and embrace the kind of weird and strange woman that I am. But it took me longer years, to snap out of the idea that I perhaps I was not meant to have kids. Really, it was all in my mind. With a learned perspective of objectivity and rationality, plus a dose of humor I've always had, and appreciation for beauty and the possibility of God, I continue on and don't have to take myself seriously all the time.
Now, at 43, I come home to my loved ones and come home to me. I feel more together than ever. And because I am 43 and soon to be 60, that means I can never take my life and that of others for granted.
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