Zoom 332057716 in My Mind

Pre-Zoom Moments in Time

Been getting all sorts of help from Batman for quite sometime.

Like Yr 1, I got feedback on my RRL. The feedback/ comments came across as cautious - quite polite. Very helpful. Very unlike other experiences of getting feedback or having no feedback at all.

Yr 2 - an 'impression type' of feedback on a new section of my RRL on Blended Learning which resulted to a concise paper presentation at ICODEL 2018.

Then came Yr 3

What came were actual notes on my creative work as I was widowing the how-to's of an auto-ethnography. Got some APA-Grammar guru galore corrections. Niiice. Of course, that left me so glad for the auto-ethno happening through an actual sharing at the PGECR symposium and that instant #31 on the menu as a freebie.  I had to put on hold completing the whole paper to remind myself that my dissertation writing is the TOP priority.

A great part of the 1-1 consultation experience is that I now have an artifact of an actual handwritten set of comments and tips on my written expression as an HDR learner me.  That's my antennae responding to my need2learn-how2mentor future research advisees. The comments let me see the bigger picture while the nitty gritty corrections looked like decorations on my white sheets of paper.

Sandwiched in between months of being on-campus was time well spent with English Angel. She went very gently and carefully through my presentation of Findings. She reiterated that writing requires deep thought - and she showed me how to look at my own work then explained her comments. Smooooth.

Topic sentence...support with details...give examples.

That's like my husband's grade three lesson on main ideas and supporting details. 

Then there's more:

String the phrases/terms to sustain the reader's attention.                                    

Handhold your reader through your work.

Got some good stuff done :)

Back2DrD

Now came the iLibCalendar. Let me just get those slots!

In return, were kind & encouraging words about the whole process of doing a PhD.   Perhaps it was to cushion what else  was there to come. A bunch of pressing questions. I'm getting repeated reminders to be explicit with my thesis arguments, and tougher questions to make me think beyond my chapter Discussion. This is to make sure I hit those WIIFM = so what's in it for me.  That felt like an 'Oh my, did I even learn anything!!!' Perhaps I was but there's too much writing to do for me to even stop & notice. Movin' on.

The rewriting of my discussion sections were brain demanding. So the writing was an act of decluttering before the holidays to give space to rethink and rewrite.

Tried those links to Learning Object Repository. There were 2 videos: one on Writing Arguments and another on Original and Significant Contribution. Tried to do those on my own. But...hmmm, the big BUT...I can't get my linear thinking to work. I  beat my brain cuz I find it hard to think with graphic organizers or box-type tables to enumerate: Main Idea 1...Supporting idea 1.1....1.2. ahhhgain.

A part of me was wanting of an actual demo of how-to-actually-do-that graphic organizer but in reverse. Can somebody just extract it from my thoughts and currently muddled written expression and then show me how to actually rearrange it, delete it or whatever it takes to clean it up! My brain is a mess. But hey, just kept at it.

What I did was work on a different table to thresh out my significant contributions. Did 60 percent of those.  At least I found a way to do my Chapter 8 = Conclusion.  For the other rewrites, I switched back to my usual winding road of writing, rewriting, chopping, moving, rewriting, trimming.

One time, I remembered printing my written work. Cut them up to resort it so I ended with this strip getting to this paragraph/ section and that strip getting into another paragraph. Just like how it was like helping  a few grade schoolers sort out their story parts back in the days when I was doing writer's workshop with  Grade 2 -3 children. And those sentence strip sorting/ comprehension activity to help LD kids make sense of story events.  So I guess this is me, helping me.

Then came Zoom near-end of Year 3 

I say Oh-EM-GEEE. It was like a daydream unfolding and somekind of flashback ala cassette tape recorder.

> A flashback

Me doing my research on Teaching Presence (TP) of live synchronous ESL classes of the best teacher at WizIQ. I reviewed and analyzed transcribed recordings of  Dr. Nellie Deutsch @work, all the way from Canada and online with ESL students from different parts of the world.

> A daydream

I was wondering whether I can record the scheduled Zoom session so I can remember what I needed to do for that section of my Chapter 8. But my daydream led to a set of questions and a drop-down list of teachers I can study on TP, but this time on learning support, the academic writing kind. Imagine that: from Teacher Tin of the Integrated Literacy Support  (ILS) program of Builders, to Amor and Victor, learning support teachers of the Beacon Academy then to higher ed  QLD university Research Support Team, mainly Dr AT the LA & Dr D the HDR-LA.

Wooops. That had to STOP. Back to dissertation writing.

Done with a few chapter clean-ups. So now let me be.

>The OMG

I forgot to request to record the session. I crammed my work for Dr D's review, hadn't had breakfast and just had to turn on my PC from my daughter's work table cuz living room was getting too 'ashy' from the Taal Volcano's phreatic eruption. Ashfall baga = Alert Level 4.

Here goes...

- I'm seeing a page of my work with a  portion ready for comment. so thanks for the screenshare feature

-  the cursor moves up and down -  as if checking for consistencies from my chapter overview and that section

-  the first feedback is now taking me through my own written words...first few ideas in my paragraph then midway then last -- as if checking for the flow of thoughts and ideas, and whether my words capture those and deliver a coherent message

-then comes the routine of   good points.  here comes the segue...points which need more thought.  that's the formula for all teachers esp. among K-12s.  but wait, there's more...

-he focuses on points to work on and HOW 

-he is getting beyond  my stringing of words and gets inside  MY ACTUAL THOUGHTS = a seesaw of ideas, he goes. I smile at myself because of the play of words and because I got caught in action (omyged, I do that seesaw, and still at this time,...I vacillate, hesitate...can't be doing that on Chapter 8, right? I have to be surer than sure)

- then comes explicit instructions: possible solutions in 3 ways - MUST think and choose in other words.

- then it gets invasive - like yeah, go for it. The moment I've been waiting for!!!

I use invasive in a very good way because since November, I'm feeling like a doctor doing surgery on my own writing. That was how I described my dissertation writing to Dr. L of LBlock.

It's getting bloody, the blood is spurting ala Kill Bill, not from an enemy's neck, but from my work onto my pair of googles. CAN SOMEONE ELSE JUST TAKE OVER.

...Someone does, again and again. Whether it was for my Endnotes, my APA, my grammar, my LimeSurvey, my graphs, my concerns, my questions. Walang puknat, walang tigil.

The help feels like a bottomless pit, and this time, while seeing my work flashed on the screen, I see a small step forward -  I am actually seeing somekind of flow and good closing sentences with my paragraphs which go with comments = Good = gudt.

Post-Zoom Thoughts

The Zoom experience was quite different from the other consultations.

• must be the aid of technology -videoconferencing tool which makes the experience a bit more multisensorial (minus the olfactory); or
• could be the timing of explicit skills instruction unfolding before my eyes
• triggering thoughts on Iteration 2 of a teaching presence study, academic writing support kind but thinking of a different methodology this time.

In my mind, I'm trying to 'profile' what could be common among these 'gifted teachers':  their backgrounds, their givens, their values and mindsets which they bring to the table, their metacognitive awareness,  how they've managed to self-learn and how knowledge or expertise are passed on/ imbibed by fellow teachers.

Let these gifted teachers do what they do best then have their auto-narrative while I do mine = Part 3.  This can be based on actual experiences of being mentored = the what and how I'm learning how to mentor my future students' academic writing that is if in fact all the advises and feedback are translating to concrete improvements in my academic writing.

> A fastforward
From Prof V to Doc J = me THIS 2020, not as an Ethyl Alcohol branded product on a grocery shelf, but as a research supervisor to a former student with a Hollywood sounding screen name =  Angel America who is now re-entering under my open university's MA Social Studies Education program. I wonder what stuff I'll be able to deliver, using my own bag of tricks, a more positive mindset and thingies I've picked up from here and there at my Australian university.

Now we'll see whether I truly gained something more worthwhile from my educational experiences at my Australian university.