RR

This BFF-wonder girl of mine is now quietly sleeping...probably to catch some rest after listening to all my travails which started late at night then continued on until about 1pm, with a part 2 at 6am when we did our morning walk together. She always assured me that I was not insane at all but totally human--a feeling, living being.

I have known Rachel since 32 years ago. That's what she remembered btw. We were together in HS.

She always had this blue canvas bag with her would approach me on several matters she wanted to know about in school given that we were both new.  I didn't like her right away cuz she seemed anxious about everything while I was what the hell devil may care...if there was an expression then such as the word chill, girl...I would have said that nth times.

Banaag club was our common thing. We had played alternate roles for a girl character as Rebecca in Our Town. 

I finally came around to believing that I was starting to like her when she wittingly played the lead role of a funny old man while I played the role of an aswang--her comedic timing was uber perfect. It was with her that I finally revealed my 2nd HS supercrush whom she fondly labelled as Puto Bumbong...tipong "andyan na ba si puto bumbong". 

Then came college days when we both decided to become teachers and we ended up seeing each other at Eduk. We finally had something more common to talk about--our BF's and educ classes. Well, we got busier with our BF's then of course.

It was during our last year in college that I finally admitted to myself that she is THE best friend of mine. I slept over at her place on few occasions, despite unapproving looks from her parents as they opened their door to this weird person in mini skirt, safety shoes and punk hairdo.

We would usually meet up at Q Plaza Cainta where we would have a taste of Tropical Hut chicken sandwich then go to the bookstore for teacher thingies...and endless talking follows. That was sticky to my memory and stickier was the time when we had to fall in line at the grocery to replace our Choco Mallows (na may uod by the ways) then a senior lady thought we were cutting in line at the cashier and so she goes bleh bleh bleh..."I am the master of my destiny." After  walking a few meters  from the cash register,  I jokingly said, "Ibig sabihin nya marahil ay ito: I am the Master of my B________". And that story will never fail to crop up in our conversations everytime we meet. It only goes to show all the things we are able to talk about under the sun, most especially our verrrry female selves.

Then of course, she will always have her fondest memories of Ilocos Sur summer she spent with my family and friends...our Maryknoll days...our before Wordlab days...our Wordlab days...my head over heels days....her Iloilo days...her L'arche days...her Jing days...her Buhay days...her LP days...our Murphy days....my Davao honeymoon days...our with-Chiqui days....our with Mailin-and-Dina days...our almost setting-up-a-school-together days...sooo many many days.

Now in our 40's, the recent talks we have are midlife stuff--that first time was when my tears never seemed to stop falling that I had to be absent from Builders' School. I have always needed her to look at my muddled self, identify my issues,  and say what she thinks about it. She asks me questions which relate to God and my relationships with my significant others. She reminds me to ask the right questions and so my mountains turn into molehills.

At our age, and even closer to 50 than 40, I still give her the usual crazy girl-talk, I still out pour and outcry myself every time.  I look up to her for all her moral steadfastness and I always leave her wondering about why I am the why I am.

And now, with my current fear of all fears, we have decided that once I get things over and done with, I shall go to her to deal with my grief. That's the plan.

Until that has not happened yet, I will still have to visit her 1x a year. 

Why not? RR...forever and always :)