Saturday, May 28, 2011

Skinnydipping=Go for Nothingness= QR Experience

I spent about 6-8 days immersed in my readings for the lit review I am trying to do on "Teaching Presence". I guess I was up to the challenge due to an honest comment from a dude at WizIQ. So I tasked myself to search for more recent studies. I dared email Dr Garrison and Dr Aykol of the COI framework, so more readings to do from then on.

At one point, a co teacher of mine labelled me as autistic=fixated and glued to my computer and reading for days, with headphones on repeatedly listening to U2's "BAD" or Yoav's "Where is my Mind?", and secretly wishing to have a lollipop in between breaks. I'd postpone eating lunch until I've done good work. At certain points, I'd stop and talk aloud to myself. I was close to saturation points when finally my colleague cum mentor Dr. PG of the Faculty of Management and Development Studies reviewed my proposal and listened to what I wanted to do for this study with online teachers at WizIQ. Just in time when my brain was exhausted with all the reads.

Dr. PG, in his usual cool polo top, started by saying..."So you are a member of WizIQ..." and out came my narrative of a summer-filled WizIQ experiments, viewing a few recorded classes, engaging in 2-3 classes, and learning more about online teaching through the WizIQ community. Then I calmed down to finally listen, a good sign of maturity on my part as it is quite hard for me to let go of a research stance I was trying to build up these past few days. But what he was saying made so much sense to me. I got overwhelmed with the task I am about to face of transcribing data and coding all these based on audio-video-text. Then I recalled that once I wanted to do some ethnographic study of expert teachers in progressive schools to simply learn from their best teaching practices. That has taken a different form now with this current study I am about to undertake.

Thanks to Doctor X, now I have a more focused study, with research questions which seem to cap what I want to do, but from a perspective of 'teaching presence' as socially constructed--a product of interactions which the data itself will speak of and I as researcher shall try to interpret.

This is like ooooooh, a light bulb moment=tadaaa!
So what has been happening to me all this time was this:
-my usual excited self with my sandbox play tools=can't wait to get hold of the data and play with it
-all geared up with my snorkling gear, board shorts and wet suit top=equipped with several concepts to look at my data as I did do my HW of lit review

Then here is qualitative research dive instructor telling me to simply
go naked=go for nothingness.

After my session with Doctor X, I gave my brain time to settle and rest to reflect on my evolving practice of quali research. For this study, that was all I needed....a
pair of goggles, nothing else and simply dive into the waters with my naked body--so my senses are free to immerse in the experience of observing and gathering data to arrive at things I am still uncertain of. I have to let the teaching-learning interactions unfold right before my eyes, transcribe and codify all these to come out of the water, with something new to contribute to research.

You see, my past research were 'safe'. I simply had to reinforce what the literature has already said. The data was available in my classrooms and program/school experiments, virtual communities or my current experiences...then I search for the existing theory behind all these. For who am I even, to propose a theory or why even if there is something else around I can latch on. There is fun, comfort and safety in that. Or maybe I just needed all these to get over my self doubts, before I start taking risks and assure myself that yes, I am capable of taking myself seriously, trod and persevere on this path of learning qualitative research--real time.

I have to remind myself that qualitative research=QR say differently---it's a constant search for meaning from the data available which in fact can be interpreted by using another pair of lens. It took a WizIQ for this pursuit to take place which has eventually led me to this--a concrete experience of what I've been trying to learn from the books since last year when I took EDDE 206 Research in Distance Education.

Finally, I arrive and boy, I will dare skinny dip, keep my goggles on and maybe even lose it to find an ordinary stone or creature of a research finding. Now whether it is a precious find or an entirely endemic specimen with no name, I can only learn with emptiness, patience, and perseverance.

Gaahhhhd, pretty scary and exciting! Now, I truly deserve my beach break...too bad, summer's over and the clouds look dreary.

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